Do holidays change you?
I'm back from Italy now; there was no wi-fi - at least I wasn't able to access it. It was daft to say that I'd blog everyday in May not being sure if I'd be able to. However I didn't really mind.. I was there to spend time with my friend and forget about work. No doubt I would only have been creating a full on holiday diary and this way it's hinted at.
It is strange to have an experience that none of my family shared; and curious to find that I didn't suffer from what I call "word search confusion" while away. I just had me to worry about. When I returned I found myself trying to speak fast to be heard or listened too and mixing up words in frustration! I found myself feeling angry (for more complicated reasons) for the first time since I left for Italy. Perhaps I just needed a longer holiday. Definitely.
What this tells me is that I need to take up meditation and conscious moments throughout the day when I just sit and breathe. I don't want targets or pressure to be mindful, just an awareness of the world around me and a little perspective. Also, when I can afford it - more short breaks. It's so important.
Time away can change you if you remember these observations and want to change. How easy can it be? I often think about what would be my best self. I've never written down all the attributes of an ideal me.. I think I feel too overwhelmed about what it might take to be that person. For example I can admire people who host creative conferences and wish I could do similar.. but I'd be terrified.. and imagining that, I wonder is that something I'm just afraid of and could overcome, or is it something that actually I wouldn't want to do anyway. How do we know ourselves? There comes a point when you think - get on with what you do know you love! In a past life as a product manager I had to stand on stage and give a speech to nearly two hundred people for about an hour and I used to be part of a dancing acting troupe as a teenager.. Sometimes you need reminding of what you have achieved.
I feel like this is a big topic.
I have just learned that Emmanuel Macron has become President. Thank goodness.
If this post raised any thoughts for you I would love to know. I wonder how wise it is just to muse away. It really helps me though :)